


She Who Watches Their Sea

by NameMeLife



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Ackermans tbh, All Platonic - Freeform, Also headcanoning that Armin's ancestors were historians, Armin is implied to have Aspergers and be trans male, Character Development, Jewish Character, Mikasa Centric, Mikasa loves Eren who loves Armin basically, Mostly it's about Mikasa/Armin Relationship Development, Platonic Love, actually not plot just, and that the book about the outside world was only one of many, but in future chapters, but thats up for interpretation, plot without porn, that they had hidden or something
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-07-10 11:59:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6984202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NameMeLife/pseuds/NameMeLife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One boy she had loved without any hesitation; he was her savior. The other boy she had learned to love; he was the hope she had lost. They held out their hands and guided her to their sea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

\---

“This is Armin, he’s my friend.”

And that was that. That was how it began. 

Well, no... If she was being honest, it began the moment Eren had wrapped his scarf around her, sealing her fate to be a part of his life for however many years were to come. Though, that was another not entirely separate story. 

The two of them looked at each other. Not as if she a bigger introduction was necessary, there was nothing left to say. Now she knew that this kid existed as someone in Eren's life and he knew the same of her. She only needed Eren. Eren was the only friend she needed.

The boy, at least that's how Eren referred to him, muttered something. His shoulders were caved inward nervously, making him look smaller than he already was. It was hard not to mistake him as a girl; he was shorter than her, younger and feminine looking, with big blue eyes and hair down to his chin that made an arch around his face. But Eren said he was a boy and that was enough for her. 

She could have figured out what he said, but it wasn't worth the effort if it was not directed at her. Something about him vaguely irritated her, but she didn’t care to analyze it any further. Hopefully she wouldn't have to deal with him much anyway.

“Huh?” From the corner of her eye, Eren seemed disinterested- even lazy, but his voice indicated otherwise.

“Um…”

To her annoyance the boy then raised his voice to a slightly louder level than was necessary, squaring his shoulders with more confidence, and without missing a beat said,

“Hi, I’m Armin. I don’t mind being your friend too if you’re nice.”

He stared at Eren expectantly, as if Eren was the one who would attest to her “niceness” and agree to their friendship.  
Eren paused, looking at Armin with a bit of uncertainty. Armin slightly cocked his head like a bird, staring back at him. Eren shrugged shifting his gaze to the ground, as if embarrassed, before turning to her for the first time. She looked back at him wondering what her actual part in this conversation was.

Behind an idle appearance, her annoyance quickly turned to aggravation. What was she even doing here? Even Eren seemed hesitant about the boy. 

Maybe Eren just felt sorry for him, a small and frail looking boy with an odd presence. Eren said he was his friend but maybe he just pitied him and was asking her to go along with it. Surely this kid wouldn't be around much anyway. 

So Mikasa did a short nod and that was that. 

… 

Eren and Mikasa walked back to the Jaeger household; Eren looking casually bored as per usual, and Mikasa faithfully tagged along. 

“Hey.” Eren was looking up at the sky, hands behind his head as if he hadn't said anything.

He paused for a second longer, and she figured he was thinking of how to phrase something correctly. She wished he wouldn't tip toe delicately around words with her, as if she was fragile and could break at any moment.

“Um, the kids around here, they're stupid.”

She hadn’t been planning on making any other friends anyway. But he continued,

“They just don’t get him because he’s too smart for them.” He glanced at her. “Armin, I mean.” He added.

Mikasa looked at him, irritation building up in her chest when he mentioned that kid again, and she waited for him to drop the pretenses and get to the point. 

“So, if you ever see ‘em pushing him around when I’m not there, come get me and I’ll beat ‘em up, ‘cause they’re little shits that need to be taught a lesson.”

He ended his sentence with utter disgust in his voice. Then, remembering the purpose of what he was saying, he turned to her.

“Kay?”

She finally understood, Eren naturally played the part of protector. Of course he would protect the weaker ones, just like he had done for her when she was unable to stand for herself, and that other boy did seem like the kind of kid to get picked on.  
But she was different now and she wanted Eren to know she was reliable- that she could even beat up the thug bullies in his stead. And of course that kid didn't look like he’d be able to protect himself anytime soon. 

She nodded dutifully.

“Good.” He replied with approval, satisfied that she was committed to his cause. 

But he wasn’t finished, because after looking at her with some consideration he said, “I’m sure you'll be great friends.”

Then, he smiled at her.

Mikasa’s breath caught in her throat and her heart skipped a beat. She wondered if she was catching a cold. 

She hadn't realized until that moment, but this was the first time since they met- since that incident- that she had seen him smile. She also realized that she hadn’t smiled since that incident either. And his was contagious. 

She smiled back, feeling her face heat up. Yeah, definitely a cold.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If Mikasa seems harsh it is because of the ordeal she just went through. Just my interpretation of it anyway. 
> 
> Thanks to betas yusenki and bettrdays on tumblr for their input and help motivating me. Helped my writing seem as if an actual writer wrote it. I'm not a writer you see, I'm only the snail or sloth equivalent of a writer that adds a word to a story every decade or so. 
> 
> Also thank Haley (bettrdays) for the title or else it'd still be filed under "that one mikasa fic with ereminkasa dynamics."
> 
> All input from anon, guests, to users alike is welcome in the comments. Anything really, even just a hello would be nice. Cause I'm lonely. I am so lonely. I have nobody. I'm on my own.
> 
> … also with my track record its best to assume nothing will ever get finished so byeee~


	2. Chapter 2

\---

Her first week with the Jaegers went on too slowly for her liking. The worst of it had to be how the Jaegers were being so careful and gentle with the things they would say to her. She was fine and she wished everything would just continue on as normal. 

The easiest way to ignore her restlessness at the world around her, was to devote her full attention to the task before her; which usually consisted of chores. But even more so she found her focus to be on Eren. 

Even though she had already decided to dedicate herself to repaying her life’s debt to him, in living with Eren she found herself beginning to better understand him. The more she grew to understand of him the more she could agree with the sentiment in which he dedicated his life to; the same one to which she owed her own life.

The cruelty which governed their world was probably the biggest burden to bare. Mikasa found that she couldn't look at anything in her daily life the same anymore, and it was an extremely overwhelming experience. She wasn't scared, she wondered if fear was even an option for her anymore. No, she just couldn't stand looking at a complacent world that was able to exist in ignorance. 

She couldn't stand to put on a pretty face for anyone anymore, they didn't deserve that. She soon learned that her anger was pointless and also just a waste of energy. Her feelings couldn't change the world around her, so why let them take over her mind and cause her pain? And did she mention it was a pointless waste of energy?

Eren however, seemed to deal with this in a much more expressive manner. Challenging anyone he saw with the reality of his views.

Although, when not getting angry at everyone's complacent ignorance, (usually just his parents constant worrying over him,) Eren usually looked to be in a semi-irritated state of disinterest. It was in those quiet moments where she could relate to him most, together being silently disgusted at the world. 

But the times he was with that kid, Armin, were different, and they hung around Armin more than she would have liked.

While Eren would often spend time complaining of the many things that irritated him, she could tell he felt at ease with Armin, at least a little hope while with him. She thought, or hoped, that this was only her imagination, because what true hope could there be in a world like this one?

It wasn’t as though Armin talked a lot, at least not while she was present. He was small and quiet, and a lot of the time it was easy to forget he was even there.

Although he would listen intently to Eren while he talked, even sometimes braving his own input, he still seemed as though he was absent minded, or maybe even contemplating something.

But then there were times when, out of the blue, he would break from his absent character, becoming extremely enthusiastic and spouting random nonsense all in an instance. He would forget himself and cue them both in on some small aspect of an imaginary world he seemed to see so vividly in his head. 

But what was most astonishing to her, was that Eren would eat up whatever it was Armin offered in those moments. As if those words enthralled him with some sort bright world only visible to their eyes.

She almost wanted to understand what was so inspiring about Armins words. To be able to relate to this part of him he shared that would catch Eren's attention in such a way. She couldn't help but want to share this vision Armin seemed to give him. 

On the other hand, Armin seemed to be wary of her and usually kept at a distance. Even though he had offered her his friendship before and even if Eren had told him she was trustworthy of whatever secret was so worth keeping, he still kept her at a distance. She did notice Armin nervously glancing at her every now and then. Sometimes it looked as if he was going to say something to her, but he never did. She didn’t really want to know what his problem was with her. Honestly, she would have preferred that he kept a distance, but it was becoming increasingly evident that Eren was devoted to his seemingly one and only friend for reasons unknown to her. She, however, was only tolerating Armin for Eren’s sake.

And Mikasa was becoming increasingly irritated by this kid the longer she had to tolerate him. It was hard for her to bare, because whenever Eren was listening to this kid she felt him pull away from their shared hatred of this world and become a victim of the same naive nonsense that plagued the rest of the world. Naive little Armin was infecting Eren with a false hope that blinded him from the harsh reality Eren had shown her in the first place.

It would take a literal beating for her to realize that she was the one blind to Armins truth. Just like those bullies Eren had mentioned; who, in this instance, were on the receiving end of her very literal beating. 

… 

Of course it was exactly the scenario you would have expected from a bunch of insecure kids with no minds of their own and Erens little friend who was the perfect kind of target; small, feminine, and weird and standoutish enough to be picked on. 

But in the end, the ones who came out with more wounds would be the bullies themselves, and to her distress, Eren as well. 

She had easily evaded hits directed towards her, even the bullies couldn’t afford to keep up their “we don't hit girls” charade once they realised that she was a force to be reckoned with. Since the incident, her instincts were more aware, and fast movements seemed slower and easier for her to perceive. Eren’s fighting, which seemed to be fueled mostly by rage induced adrenaline, was still an easy target for their enemies when they were so greatly outnumbered. It was like all the idiot kids in town had formed some kind of gang against them or something. 

So it was fortunate that Eren’s doctor was his father, or else he would be sure to rake up quite a bill. That didn’t mean she was any less worried about the damage caused. Mikasa was furious that she couldn't protect him. Why did there have to be so many of them? All just to beat up the small boy that Armin was? Armin must have provoked them in some way. Yeah, Armin must have had some fault in this.

Mikasa glared at the small boy while they sat outside of Eren’s room as the later got patched up. He sat there staring at his lap, his blond fringe hiding his eyes. Even while she could see the small drops falling and hear his little sobs, she was too angry to feel sympathy for him. He wasn’t the one who got hurt after all! Why should Eren have to go through so much because of this kid? 

She wanted to tell him off for getting into trouble in the first place, but Armin himself beat her to it. 

“Why? I'm not worth all this, so why…”

She got the feeling he wasn’t talking to her. It was barely a whisper and if she wasn’t already concentrating on him she probably wouldn't have even heard his muttering.

“I’m so pathetic, I don’t have anything to offer, so why do they even bother?”

For some reason his self hatred made her even more angry. _‘Anything to offer’_ … Her mind immediately thought back to Eren's face lighting up while looking at Armin and she quickly shoved the memory away.

Before she could respond in any way, Armin had jumped out of his seat with a thud and ran out of the Jaegers house in a flurry. 

And before she could decide to go after him or not, another thud came from Eren’s room. With the muffled objection “Eren!” from his father, the door was flung open by the boy himself without a shirt, cuts and bruises still half exposed and undressed.

“Did he run off again?” Eren questioned her, as if something of this nature this had happened before. 

Startled by his sudden entrance, Mikasa nodded hesitantly. With that, Eren quickly ran after the boy, unwrapped bandages trailing behind him.

Dr. Grisha Jaeger stumbled out of the room still holding his medical equipment and very clearly irritated that his patient had run off untreated.

“That damn boy…”

Mikasa looked between the Dr. Jaeger and the door where the two boys had previously rushed out of. Grisha sighed, defeated, and nodded his permission for Mikasa to go after them.

… 

Surprisingly, she found Armin before Eren had, at least that’s what she assumed, because he was sitting alone on the edge of the canal, staring down into it. She wondered if she should approach him herself, or just wait for Eren to get there. She watched him for a few minutes before impatiently deciding Eren wasn’t that great at this game of hide-and-seek. 

She walked over and sat down, leaving a good amount of space between them. He didn't react, just continued to stare absently into the dirty water. She knew she wouldn't say anything, she had realized by now that this kind of thing was not her strong point. She would just sit there and make sure the kid would stay put until Eren got there. Eren obviously would know what to say if this sort of had thing happened before.

Unexpectedly, Armin started chuckling softly. She looked over at him to see an odd sort of unsettling expression on his face. He didn’t speak though, and she was mildly concerned at the thoughts that were going through his head. Surely Eren would get here before this weird boy did anything stupid.

He didn't though, do anything stupid that is, but only a moment later he spoke. She still wasn't sure if it was directed at her, this kids behavior really was incomprehensible.

“I don’t actually believe that it will happen, you know.”

It was as if he was having an already half finished conversation with someone else. 

“Eren seems to believe he will go there, and it's not that I don’t believe it’s out there, but the probability of us getting there is as likely as sprouting wings.”

Perhaps she was wrong, maybe this kid did get hurt in the fighting and someone gave him a concussion. She should probably get Dr. Jaeger. 

She was only just thinking of getting up when he suddenly turned to her with wide eyes. She looked back at him startled.

“They’re keeping us trapped here for a reason you know. They know more than they’re telling us, if they didn't they would be trying harder to find a way to stop the Titans. We’re all just pawns!”

The monarch? Was he talking about the government? If she hadn’t been raised the way she was and didn't descend from the family she had, then she would have considered all this just some grade A conspiracy bullshit… But just what did this kid know?

“Eren wants to see the world outside of these walls, he wants to be free. I do too you know, if it was possible. They’ve banned all information and literature on it, so they’re obviously hiding something from us, keeping us trapped here for a reason. Nobody believes it though, and why should they? They think they’re safe and being protected.”

Suddenly she felt a pang of regret. How did he even… Why was he telling this to her in the first place?

“Eren believes it and wants to fight for it, but it’s stupid! It’s pointless! What can we do against them? He was probably better off not knowing…”

Armin turned back away from her, wiping away the tears that were resurfacing in his eyes. 

“Hope.”

He looked at her, surprised. “Huh?”

“It gives him hope.”

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aha I lied before!  
> fooled u!  
> i had actually had most of the second chapter written before I posted the first ahaha! to think you fell for it ahahahaa...
> 
> now while I'm sure youre disappointed at my actual follow through, i cannot promise of following through so quickly again. lucky ppl...
> 
> fine, I know im just speaking for myself here.
> 
> but in the mean time u can read this lovely fic that Haley wrote if u havent already: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6982717/chapters/15911776
> 
> Also another big thanks to Haley again for her beta and again I apologize for sending messed up files. honestly I dunno how u put up with me (and my phone- which I still blame everything on.)


	3. Chapter 3

\---

“Eren, listen to your father when he tells you to be patient and stand still! You know you can’t go running off like that!”

“I _had_ to mom! Armin did that thing again where he thinks everything is his fault when it's really the other stupid kids’ fault!” 

It was already late afternoon when they got back to the Jaegers and Eren was yet again getting a mouthful from his parents for his reckless behavior. Mikasa was helping Carla prepare their dinner while Grisha sat at the table with Eren getting his cuts cleaned and bandages reapplied. 

“Eren, even though we know you had good intentions, sometimes you have to think about the situations you put yourself in. You could have asked one of us to go and make sure Armin was okay.” Grisha usually tried to take a calmer, more reasonable route when dealing with his son.

“No, you wouldn’t have known what to say.” Eren retorted.

“For god sake, Armin doesn’t need you as his babysitter, Eren! Mikasa was able to find him and take him home just fine…” Carla, on the other hand, was always ready to put up a fight against Eren’s outbursts.

At that, Eren could only look away angrily, mumbling, “I’m not a babysitter…”

In the end she had walked Armin home and it was only there that they had met up with Eren before having to drag him back home to get treated for his injuries. Armin had smiled meekly at her as he waved them off.

Although what Armin had said was still on her mind, she wasn’t sure it would be a good idea to inquire about it to Eren’s parents. Some questions were just not safe to go around asking carelessly, and she wouldn’t be the one to get that kid in trouble for his inquiries- especially if it was something Eren was in on. So instead she opted for a safer route:

“Have you guys known Armin for a long time?”

They all paused and looked at her, more out of surprise than anything else.

But Eren looked at her suspiciously. “Why?”

“Eren… Ah, yes dear, for awhile now. Armin has always been, well, different, and has been picked on a lot-”

“He’s not different! All the other kids are just stupid!” Eren corrected.

“Of course not Eren… Well, kids can be quite cruel- and parents uncooperative.” Carla said, mumbling the last bit. “It’s such a shame, because that kid has smarts, if only a little could rub off on Eren!” She laughed a little and Eren huffed a noise of indignation.

“Anyway, the Arlerts used to bring Armin quite frequently because of that. It was odd though, I didn't think he hung out with Eren very much at first…” She paused for a second as if in thought. “Huh, anyway it was a blessing when they did, ‘cause Eren didn’t get along with any of the other kids around here!”

“Hey- Mom!” Eren whined.

“Being the doctor in these parts, I know most of children around here anyway, I’ve even overseen a lot of their births as well, so it would be more unusual for us _not_ to know Armin, aha...” Grisha added.

“Whatever.” Eren shrugged, then seemingly referring to her he continued, “But… Um, thanks, I guess, for helping him today.” 

She blushed into the black scarf he had given her.  
“Y-yeah.”

She peaked a glance at him, but he was looking away from her. Then she noticed the two adults share a smiling look before returning back to their own tasks.

… 

“Eren!” 

It was the next day, and they had met up with Armin, who waved to him eagerly; Eren responding by casually waving back. When Armin spotted her his whole face lit up.

“Hi Mikasa!” 

He was beaming with excitement. 

Eren, looked a little put off by his sudden change in demeanor towards her. He looked between them suspiciously, suddenly interested in what Armin had to say.

She had noticed that by now he would sometimes get like this when he found some new random facts to talk about. Eren would always seem to notice this change in his voice and become intrigued in whatever he was about to share.

Only this time, he was looking at her. 

She hoped she hadn’t given him the wrong idea after their last talk… She hoped she hadn't given Eren the wrong impression either, suddenly nervous by the prospect.

"My Grandpa says that Mikasa is a very special person!" 

She was taken aback and Eren looked at her confusedly, as if she had done something to influence Armins odd statement.

Armin went on enthusiastically before either of them could reply, "He says that Mikasa is from a special bloodline that is very rare and not many of them left!" 

At that Mikasa's eyes went wide and she felt pang in her chest. For a second, she was totally empty, void of feelings. Then everything flooded into her at once, lead by an unbelievable feeling of anger and resentment.

Eren responded after looking carefully from Armin to Mikasa, "She's not an animal, Armin…"

Mikasa temper was rising by the second. Her head was rushing with everything that was wrong with this situation, everything that Armin was doing wrong, everything that had ever irritated her about this annoying kid to begin with. 

"I know that!” Armin said with a smile, not seeming to take a hint. “What I mean is that, even before the walls were built there were many different kinds of people, all from different lands, who-”

Before he could finish, Mikasa tackled him, grabbing him roughly by the collar. 

“ _What do YOU know about my family_?” she accused. Her voice was low, almost a whisper, but cold and deadly, “ _You’re just a stupid little child who doesn’t know anything. Don't you DARE speak of my family!_ ”

Armin wore a look of shock, eyes brimming with tears.  
“Wha- but I- you-”

“What the hell Mikasa!”

After recovering from his own initial shock, Eren had leapt into action, attempting to grab Mikasa off of a terrified Armin. Mikasa easily shrugged him off of her, throwing him on the ground. She let go of Armin and stepped back, processing what she had done. Breathing heavily from her sudden flood of emotions, she ran, leaving them before they had any evidence of her tears. 

That day Armin would learn some horrifying news about his best friend and the girl he had brought home with him. 

… 

The next time Armin would see her, she would act as if nothing as happened. He would try to apologize, but the topic had become taboo. Eren had probably instructed him not to bring it up again. 

And so Mikasa would begin reforming into her new life with the Jaegers and slowly begin to heal from the wounds of her past. It would take only a year later for tragedy to strike anew, and for those wounds to be reopened and cut deeper than ever before.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this installment might be a little controversial and kind of unresolved. I know the summarizing was a cheap way to end the chapter, but some more details will be explained in the next chapter.  
> I should mention (if the ending wasn't an indicator) that the next chapter and most chapters from here on out will have time skips in between. Basically the focus will be a bunch of inserted fillers in the canonical plot where Mikasa becomes progressively closer to Armin.
> 
> Thanks for bearing with me! I'd love to hear any input from what you guys thought, so please don't hesitate to leave comments!
> 
> So until next time!


End file.
